You see, the temptation I (and I’m sure countless others) face is to recreate history. To take my experience and write it in some formulaic way, creating a system to follow or avoid. When I’m hurt by someone, I take the entire experience and tell myself to never repeat any of the same steps again. Likewise when something completely wonderful happens–I run around trying to relive and recreate that beauty, when in reality, it’s never the same again.
I forget the source of my joy and my suffering so often, that I exhaust myself in my human efforts to get by. I sometimes think of “luck” or other such silliness, when I know full well everything happens under the watchful eye of my Creator. How often do we build insecurities around the events that take place in our lives, as if by doing so we’ll be protected the next time around? Rather, we become shut up inside ourselves, fearful of others and fearful of pain.
And when it comes to joy, we are impatient for more without ever considering the greater joy that comes through trials. Sometimes the long way around brings us to the most beautiful place, and if we’d rushed there we would have never seen it. Suffering is counted as such a terror in our world, when the most amazing stories are the ones of those who rise from the ashes. We must be brought low to be lifted high. We must be patient, faithful in the small things, before the glory of the life we’re given is shown to us. And I find that once we’ve felt a little bit of what that’s like, we rush ahead, walking down the same roads, searching for what was once there. But God doesn’t work that way. He just doesn’t.
A quote from CS Lewis triggered this little rant, and I think there’s a lot to glean from his wisdom. Don’t run ahead. Don’t put your hope in what may have worked before. Often, the best things in life happen to us when we’re not looking for them. Be faithful with what you have right in front of you, and leave the rest up to the One who knows your every thought.